Why I don’t want to wear white for #PinkDot Singapore – A letter to Christians and Gays on LBGT

29 June, 2014

I really didn’t want to bring up this topic for discussion at first, nor publicly immortalise my opinion on the internet to be trolled on. There is no win-win with such issues, and with a blogpost like that I realize that I’m bound to offend people who stand on either side. But the pain in my heart has to come out somehow.

It’s a very hard day to be a Christian today. With the circus of thoughts, activities and people around the movement of #PinkDot Singapore, the Gay VS Christian divide around LGBT has suddenly blown up into a sea of Pink VS White. So many people I care about are on either side. Oh boy (pun intended), it’s one of those “be damned if you do, be damned if you don’t” things.

Is a fight for the largest numbers or the loudest noise a good idea? The amount of uninformed opinions on ‘pink’ or ‘white’ around this is sad and deafening. When people are forced to pick sides, a lot of good intention gets lost in the execution of actions.


If it’s already so tough for me to love God as well as gay people, imagine how super awkward and difficult it must be today, to be Christian, and gay.

This post is not to undermine the great work that many pastors and churches have done. But what’s the point of telling gay people what the bible says or that homosexuality is wrong, when that is how we choose live by but not how they do? Instead of telling them our choices, we could show them the reason behind our choices.

Their life stories aren’t the same as our life stories, and their rules in life aren’t equal to our rules in life. Our guide to right is not their right and they want different rights.


Let’s show them our love and friendship without any strings attached, so that they can see the Christ behind the Christian.

I was hanging out in a gay club at Clarke Quay with my friends last night, probably one of the busiest spots after pink dot, and the emcee kept talking about feeling judged and discriminated against. Most Christians want the best decisions made but divisiveness is not our aim.

The church volunteers a lot of time, holds programmes, and prays for many issues – LGBT, poverty, promiscuity, gambling, materialism, depression, divorce, and more. There are many Christians as well as non-Christians that struggle with areas such as this – so this isn’t a Christian VS non-Christian thing.

Please understand that we are not attacking any particular groups, as most Christians practice acceptance and not rejection, and we are not trying to force our beliefs on you. There is plenty of good things about gay people, and there can be more ‘sin’ in a lying, cheating, stinking “Christian-but-not-really-Christian” businessman. Christian or not, nothing and nobody is perfect. Everything is generally, screwed up.

This is not a contest of right and wrong, but just a request for the yes of the status quo, to upkeep society morals and standards.

‘Freedom’, ‘stop discrimination’, ‘equal rights’ and ’the right to love’, and are all very sexy ideas but these are consequences – not buzzwords.

I think I speak for most people I know that we (the church and Christians) aren’t trying to start any ARGUMENTS. We are just responding to the government’s ACTIONS. We want to remind the government to make the best decisions in the interest of the people.

Government decisions should be made NOT for the best interest for SOME people – but for the best interest for ALL people.


As a Christian who has Christian friends and gay friends who are all really awesome people, I don’t wish to see a war on words, nor frivolous fashion statements. Like one of my pastor friends poignantly put it, “you can win the argument but you might lose the salvation”.

I wish I could adequately describe the greatness of my God and the depths of His love. It brings happiness, healing, wholeness and so many more incredible things, I wish you would experience it for yourself.

And so my heart is broken. Because I don’t have a solution. To pink dot, and to many other things.

The question today shouldn’t be gay or not gay, but the answer is always Jesus and the answer is always love.

Jesus didn’t ask me to save the world or show right from wrong, he just brought me here to love and to serve, one person at a time. If you’re a Christian, ask a gay friend how they are feeling, with no agenda to convert, but just to communicate. By communicate I don’t just mean talk – but listen – to each other. Maybe then, we will all learn to love better.

If I had to wear a colour to represent this movement, maybe it should be golden.

#ImnotwearingPinkorWhite #ImontheGOLDENside #Peace #Love

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