Every Sunday, I have coffee and heart surgery.

19 May, 2014


Every Sunday, I have coffee and heart surgery.

I think I have it all figured out by Monday, up until something happens or breaks mid-week, and it’s another round of gut-wrenching problems of all sorts in repeat. And then I crawl, humbled even as I’m crumbled in broken pieces, back to New Creation Church on Sunday.

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Why are there bad results in good things? Why do I feel like walking away from people that I love? Why do people say one thing and then do another? Why can’t I have the things that I’m perfectly comfortable with? Why do simple things lead to complicated decisions? I don’t understand so many of the situations I’m facing, but the only thing I know is that I’m supposed to trust God through it all.

And so in realizing that, there is the good in my groans. Grace to replace guilt. Feeling sore about over-giving has changed into gratitude.

And so I spend my free time feeling lost and seeking solutions, but found that my soul is thankfully anchored in salvation.

So it may be rare but I’m writing these thoughts here to share so that you may know bits and pieces of my struggles, but also mostly to remind myself as I document and look back on the growth.

So when you see me happy and things appear great and easy, it wasn’t for a lack of problems, but the process of overcoming it.

Here it is – The solution of all of life’s problems… Is in my salvation. There is rain before rainbows. Reset before refresh. Hurt before healing, and even heartbreak before happiness. There is solutions in salvation and pain before the peace.